going home

Date: Monday, August 27, 2007
Time: 12:46:00 PM

i didnt realise that so much time has actually passed.
it's already week 4!!!!
i have been in ntu for almost a month. if counting from the time i checked in for the camp, i have already been here for more than a month.
and now, honeymoon period has gone past, and the very cruel fact is that i'm leading the long gone mugger's life again, which is quite sad.
uni life's not just about studying. it's abt lotsa many other things. but if i'm given a chance to choose, i'll still prefer jc life. don't ask me why.
anyway, i think ntu 's great!!! =) though jj is better. LOL.
hey S-13 peeps! if you're reading this, u'll know tht u're being dearly missed by ME!!

i'm so lagging behind now. i think my last minute worker way of studying is no longer workable in uni. i guess i need to mug up, and catch up. otherwise the ending is gonna be tragedic.
OH WELL.
WSC interview tonight.
wish me good luck!

tada~

Date: Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Time: 7:55:00 PM

finally, ALL MY LOANS HAVE BEEN APPROVED!!! =)
i no longer need to worry over whether i'll be able to afford the heavy expenses and school fees. now, everything is settled. i jus have to wait for the notice to sign the agreement and, the date to bring back my pc. hehez. then i dun need to use sis's laptop anymore. hahaha.

it's SPMS school day today. and guess what? we got free kfc box and hence free lunch!!!! actually i wanted to buy a chem textbook from the old book sale but when we got there after the lab session, everything has finished. T.T
anyway, lab was a rather stressful session for me. i thought i could have completed smoothly but yes, things happen sometimes. i guess i added in too much solvent while we were supposed to add in drop by drop, and so the crystal didnt form. i spent abt half an hour for the hot solution to cool, while the rest already got their crystals in the flasks, just to realise from the lab assistant that no matter how long i waited, the cyrstals would never form as the solvent was simply too much.
T.T again.
so i had to heat the solution again and again to evaporate off the solvent, while all people in the lab were already drying their crystals in the dessicator.
despite the fact that THINGS HAPPEN,
i managed to get crystals at the very last minute. i think I ROCK, seriously. patience and perseverance rock too. =)

by the way, i got to know a very kind lab partner. throughnout the experiment i was quite down as i thought i couldn't get the crystals. but he kept telling me it's alright and things like that. hahaz.

anyway, WSC recruitment is coming. planning to join sub comm. hopefully will be okay.
JCRC? still thinking.

ok, i seem to start enjoying my life here again. i guess life is just like a roller coaster. sometimes unhappy things happen and bring fear to you, make you feel that everything just sucks at ur expense. but sometimes, happy things happen, u feel that life is wonderful and everything around you just too good to be true.
and when i mention the word 'happiness', it's always closely linked to the word 'friends'.
friends are important ya? =)

tada!

Date: Monday, August 20, 2007
Time: 12:56:00 AM

finally, i'm free.

i pratically spent the whole day in front of my desk slaving over my notes and doing my tutorials(except the time that i went down for lunch and dinner, and yes, i went cant13 today and had korean food with pui!) lols. well, after that i gotta walk back all alone from new hall area to my hall. believe me, it's scary, especially after i've heard so many bizzare stories frm frens and seniors.
anyway, this's not what i want to talk about. i want to complain, complain and complain!!!
life seems so suckie like this. wake up in the morning and spend the entire day on tutorials alone is really miserable. the fact tat u cant seem to even understand the questions really adds on to the misery.
it seems that i'm so lagging behind. i cant seem to understand some parts of the lectures. everything just seems so difficult.
i feel so helpless and i'm getting panicky.
how???
i guess there's oways this period of time at every level. remember when i was in jc, at the beginning of the year, i was also struggling. but the feeling is different now.
how come i feel that the questions that i encounter in tutorial has nothing to do with the lecture at all one? is it my problem??
argh. STRESSED.

there's morning tutorial tml. so i guess i hav to go to bed already. haiz. hopefully it'll help to solve the many many puzzles on my mind now.

aiks.
nites!!

Date: Thursday, August 16, 2007
Time: 7:32:00 PM

jus came back from dinner with pk. jus realised that it feels more comfortable confiding in people whom u've known for long. at least the trust is there, and you know for sure she'll not spread whatever u've told her to other people. to pk: STOP GIGGLING!!! lol...

have been feeling quite sick since yesterday night. i know there's nothing to do with me stayin up late. i guess i need to hydrate myself more. since i was off for lesson in the morning till now, my water bottle is still more than half-filled. this shows the cause of my sickness. sorethroat, flu all come attacking at the same time. this totally sucks. argh! =S

have been quite stressed lately. other than the terrifying and horrifying workload, i'm still pondering over what i should join as my eca. i mean, i have already signed up for a few and now i'm thinking of which one should i really commit to. welfare? CAC? JCRC? the main worry is that i won't be able to even be a sub com. will i pass the interview? if i cant get, i'll definitely not get a room next year during the 1st few rounds. if i get, i'll be very busy and i'm scared it'll affect my studies. so HOW HOW HOW? haiz.
many seniors who still don't have a room(including my sis) are squatting in others' rooms now. i really don't want to end up like this. u'll need a bench to study, and u'll need a bed to sleep on comfortably at night. i really don't want all these inconvenience.
maybe i'll just attend the welcome tea and decide later on ba...

haha and guess up? i've signed up for pretty tuff!! i'll start attending the lesson frm nezweek onwards. can u believe it? i'm doing kickfit(smth similar to kickboxing)! lol...

i cant believe that i actually dozed off during forensic science lecture ytd! it was a 3 hr lecture, and for the first and the last hours, i was actually sleeping. i have never been this daring before. even during jc time, no matter how boring the lecture was, i would at most yawn. but now, i realy really dozed off!!!
really buei tahan lo. the lecture was really boring, and the way the lecturer spoke added on to the monotony. hahaz. so at the end i fell asleep. so it was NOT my fault ok!! lol..

so far the lectures have been rather OK. most of the things we have learnt in jc. jus that now the questions are harder. and today, we learnt about hydrogen bonding, ion-dipole interaction and stuffs like that, and i almost dozed off again. lol...

but there's smth i've observed. onli now then i realised how much i've learnt during jc time in jj. i wanna emphasize the word 'JJ' again. SELF DISCIPLINE, SELF MOTIVATION. the slogan that we used to make fun of and to laugh over so often is playing such an important part in me now. it's something that i found lacking in some people. i mean, you have to really learn to be independent and to discipline urself when u come to a place without ur parents by ur side. it's no longer like home. the point of you coming so far to study is to learn how to take care of and make decision urself. i really can't stand that 'xiao-jie-ness' and reliance on other people. at least for me, if i cant do smth, i'll keep trying and trying and trying before i seek help from others.
anyway, just some thoughts.

ok. weekend is coming and i already can't wait.
woohooos. i reallie need some rest. AND YOU TOO.

tada!!!

Date: Monday, August 13, 2007
Time: 1:06:00 AM

i have finally finished my 1st two sets of tutorials. actually i think i shouldn't use the word 'finished'. maybe 'gone through' is more appropriate. there are quite a number of questions which i do not know how to do, especially the biochem ones. i was looking at the textbook and the words really added on to the confusion.
i have been working on the questions since 9 plus. and looking at the time now , it's 1.11 am.
is it just me? am i really that slow in doing questions? it's stressing me out.
anyway, i promise i will give my 100% attention during CBC121 class in the future. i wanna score, despite the disadvantage.

anyway, i have been slacking during the weekend, which i think i shldnt have done. most of my coursemates have been so stressed out because of the workload, while i was happily shopping away. it's just so not me. in the past i was always the one who would get stressed the earliest. but look at me now, it's just so not right. i should do something about it before it gets too late. but the irony is that, i don't want to repeat what i experienced in sec sch and jc time. couldn't sleep at nitez, feeling down, gastric pain, anxiety before exam. all these are nightmares and i don't want to experience them again, but at the same time, i also want a bit of pressure to push myself. haiyo. very ironical la.

my feeling now is that...
i know what i should do. learnt from past experiences that i should not be doing it again.
but u know, the feeling is just so real. so real.
what are all the cares and concerns for? just for fun, joy and laughter?
it's not that i want to make myself seem so cold. things just can't be the same anymore, after i got to know about that. mayb i shldn't have been there to know abt the story.
if time can rewind, i really don't wanna get close to u again. look at us now, what are we? good frens? haha. i'd rather we are strangers.
it's not that i don't want to give chances to other people. it's not that my expectation is actually so high. the thing is, i don't always meet people like you. maybe once in a lifetime. do you understand that?
i don't feel comfortable. and i wanna run away from you. i don't want to see you anymore. but everytime you'll jus appear in front of me. why am i actually seeing you everyday? why...
okay. know pk will say that i'm emo again. alrites. i'm ok.
it's just too little too late, and it's better off for me to just keep everything to myself. i won't let u know how i feel, not till u tell me how you feel.

looking forward to lesson tml!!! woohoos.
jia you me!!!~

Date: Sunday, August 12, 2007
Time: 1:42:00 AM

omg!!! it was totally scary jus now.
i caused my sister's comp kena virus. and it just kept sending automatically to other people on my msn list and caused other people to kena it too.
i wanna say, it was really really not my fault! i didnt know what happened. i thought it was picture so i jus accepted it without even looking at the size. BLOODY DUMB.
now the comp is still alright. but once i sign in to msn, the same problem occurs again and it jus keeps spreading the virus to other computers. sis was panicked and as expected, i got scolded by her inside out. =_=
ok, i swear that i'll be careful when accepting files in the future. really scary.

past one week has been quite alright.
i mean, lessons were tiring, especially when i had to wake at 7 in the morning and end only at 5.30pm. and the lessons are all very content based and require us to listen to every word the professors say cafefully. it's no longer like jc. we have to really pay attention.
sometimes i really can't take it anymore and yawn. and one of the proffesors was very funny, he said 'sleeping is actually allowed in this lecture hall'. think he really understands our feeling.

spent almost a hundred on jus two textbooks yesterday. i'm going broke because of all these. notes, books are enough to kill me. omg... please please please. anybody willing to make a donation to my education fund? LOL...

OH WELL. so it will no longer be mine. but i'm still happy! YAY~

OK. nothing exciting happened. this life still goes on like ever.

TADA!!!

Date: Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Time: 10:12:00 PM

more updates!!!

the starting of school can be described in jus ONE word, BUSY!!!
i don't know what i'm so busy with also. i jus know that since the starting of school, i have been spending my day in the library from morning till the sun set.
even if i had no lessons on the 1st and 2nd days, i was still so busy. i dont know why. the library is like so packed with people everyday. everybody is trying his/her best to fight for a turn in printing the notes.
the notes are like driving me crazy now. i'm going broke of printing notes liao. they're now piling up on my desk and i still can't find the right time to sort them out yet.

went SRC to play badminton jus now. it's BADMINTON!!!!! woohoos~ been long since i last held a racket. it was fun but we didnt play long. the people in charge came and chased us out after a short while. so sao xing.
my back is still hurting when i played. hopefully can get well soon ba. if not really lotsa things cant be done.

lessons are quite alright so far. we have funny professors. we almost fell asleep during forensic science lecture. physics, yes, it's PHYSICS, we are still taking physics at uni level. but it's physics and applied physics lo. it was quite alright la, all about mechanics and stuffs like that.

k la, to my SINGAPOREAN FRENS.

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY K?
enjoy and have fun!!!!

i'm gonna watch fireworks tomorrow too!!! =)

Date: Sunday, August 5, 2007
Time: 12:24:00 AM

ok, did i mention that i actually fell down the other day?
and my back(i'm not sure if it's considered the back, it's the part jus slightly below my hip) is still hurting now.
and the worse thing is, the pain actually extends to my thigh.
i don't know how did it happen.
slippery ground plus a pair of old slippers were all that contributed to it. mom was worried and insisted that i had to apply some chinese medicine. but the problem was i didnt have that with me at that time and i really really dislike the smell of it.
so i dragged and dragged and dragged till today, and it still hurts.
WALAO EHH...

waiting for school to start is a really scary thing.
it's like you know that there's imminent danger and you just can't do anything to avoid or to escape from it. well, maybe it isn't that bad? but i'm reallie scared.
was looking at some of the math tutorial questions and they can't get scarier.

bought lab coat and safety glasses. and they cost me a 30 bucks. inevitable expenses huh.
tsk tsk.
i think coming to uni is in a way helping me to slim down ba. on these two days i actually manage to survive on just ONE meal. okay, i think i rock.

haha. k la.
tada!

Date: Saturday, August 4, 2007
Time: 10:55:00 AM

just woke up one hour ago, and now, i'm feeling really tired. these few days i have not been getting enough sleep. lotsa socializing activities and things like that. but i guess this's part and parcel of uni life, and i have to admit that i'm really enjoying myself here.

lotsa things are left undone now.
i need to do my student pass, but i'm too lazy to make my way to SAO.
i need to print out my timetable, buy my labcoat and safety glasses, do my subject registration etc etc etc.
worst, i need to fill in so many forms for the so many different kinds of loans, there's still need to find guarantor for all the agreements. these things are really giving me a hard time. k, will do it one step at a time.

school is starting on monday, though i heard from the seniors that there's nothing much on the 1st week, and that proper lessons will only start on week 2, i'm still feeling anxious, not knowing what to expect. my brain has been on honeymoon for more than eight months, and i'm really scared that my brain is no longer functioning well. i'm getting stressed cos i've kinda forgotten most of the chemisty stuffs that i learnt. oh gosh. AM I THE ONLY ONE in the course who is like that???!!!

yesterday GENOS and the seniors had a gathering at SADAM, (the school of arts, design and media), it was in a way a birthday bash for Emily anf Kok Kin. haha we had great fun over there and lots of us were sabotaged. i was one of them and i made one guy roll down the slope. haha. but the worst is yet to come, some of the guys even had to propose to a girl in front of every1. that's reallie funny.
after that we went round telling people our love histories, and no1 could run away from it, though i have none. haha yes I'M EVERGREEN but so what la! not that i don't have, it's i DON WANT only ok! this kinda thing has got to be selective a bit. lol...

we left the place at 4am ytd. i really donno how we managed to pass the time jus like that. but i guess when we are happy, we won't realise time actually flies by.
anyway, it was fun, and i think our seniors are all really nice people.

alright. till later.
tada!

Date: Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Time: 10:17:00 PM

at home now.
going back ntu tml.
don't know why, i kinda miss my frens over there.
im looking forward to the starting of lessons, and many many other things.

i don't know what's that feeling for or about.
but i'm really happy. =)

jia you chenhui.
u can do it!
have faith and you'll give the long journey a great start.

tada!~